Rest in Pieces Prigozhin.

Days after Russia ploughs into the Moon, Prigozhin ploughs into the ground.

“How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!” Isaiah 14:12 NIV

Due to insidious Western sanctions affecting the sale and production of Polonium tea, as well as glass windows being stolen enmass by corrupt officials, Prigozhin, leader of the W*nker group, a musical band where everyone is a fiddler, decided to do his patriotic duty.

There are some reports of a mid-air explosion but that could have just been him expelling hot air.

Ten people in all decided to be on the doomed flight including pilot “Do I really need to take this Guyovich” and co-pilot “I don’t get paid enough for this Crapovich”.

It all started with a botched moon mission and someone in the Kremlin thinking “I wonder if Prigozhin would be up for the same?”

As it turns out, Prigozhin was indeed up for it as there is no other explanation for why he was in Moscow heading to Saint Petersburg, when he was supposed to be in hiding in Saint Petersburg, or attaching a moustache to his upper lip in Belarus and finding out if he deposed Lukashenko would anyone know or care.